Coffee Shop Girl (rough draft)

Out of the corner of my eye, you look attractive, but a quick glance out of the corner of my right eye has found a lot of girls attractive. So I turn my head in your direction to get the opinion of my left eye, and a quick consultation from my brain. After a few seconds of discussion between all parties involved, it’s been decided that you are indeed attractive and that I must promptly find the nearest mirror, preferably in the sometime private comfort of the public restroom, and check my vanity.

Hair is messed up in all the right places. Like a zoo, it is wild yet under control. Teeth are clean. Smile is handsomely framed by some stubble and well-placed laugh lines. Zipper has been checked twice to make sure it’s in its full, upright, and locked position.

I walk out of the bathroom and towards the pretentiously convenient coffee shop where you first caught my glace of interest and stare of conformation, and stand in line behind a somewhat short, balding, mid-aged Asian man with a copy of Bridget Jones Diary and GQ magazine in hand.

I’m confused. I’m confused because I’m not sure if I should be confused or impressed by this middle aged Asian man. Not because he is seemingly in touch with both his feminine side and with current fashion trends for men, but because he is wearing a navy blue suit jacket with khaki shorts, white socks pulled up to his knees, and baby blue high-top sneakers. He looks as if he is going to play a charity tennis match on a yacht in Brooklyn.

 Jay Z is up on this Asian guy 40-love by the time your voice echoes through my daydream and brings me back to reality. Dang it! Starring vacantly upward into space with my mouth slightly open and slightly smiling was not the first impression I was hoping to make with you.

You were attractive from a distance, but you’re even more attractive up close. Your brunette hair and hazel eyes only compliment you further. You smell fantastic. You smell European, but in a good way. Your smile, your smile makes my insides feel like a 14-year-old girl at the midnight showing of Twilight.

You ask what you can get for me, as I stare at the menu and let out a far to long and drawn out “Ummmmmmm…..”

I look over my options and think upon them. I should have already had my choice picked out before I even got to the counter, but I was to busy imagining about a ghetto fabulous tennis match.

I don’t want a latte, cappuccino, or espresso. Mostly because I don’t have my laptop, or any Russian literature with me, not to mention the fact that I’m not wearing a single stitch of tweed.

I smile and tell you that I’ve decided upon a grande White Chocolate hot chocolate with dark chocolate shavings sprinkled on top.  The voice of Larry David comes to me saying, “What?! Shmuck!”

You smile as you punch in my order. Your smile is curious. I can’t tell if you’re smiling because it’s refreshing and cute that I ordered a white chocolate hot chocolate with dark chocolate shavings sprinkled on top, or because I’m a single man in his mid 20’s ordering a white chocolate hot chocolate in the middle of the summer, and specifically requested dark chocolate shavings, and don’t want the typical chocolate dust of nesquick crowning my hot coco.

You ask, but not sarcastically, if I would like a chocolate chip cookie to go with my hot chocolate. Perfect. Here is my moment to start up some flirty, charming customer/cashier banter.

You indulge my charm, and then retort with some flirty charm of your own. We lock eyes and smiles ever few seconds. You recommend the oatmeal raisin cookie, heated. Not in recent memory has an oatmeal raisin cookie sounded so enticing.

Am I a Borders rewards member? Yes.

I give you my email address to enter into the computer to confirm my membership.

Do I want to become a premium member for only twenty dollars, so I can get an extra ten percent off of books I’ll never buy? No, thank you.

Do I want to buy a bag of coffee to donate to the troops in Iraq? Not today, but I’ll buy one to donate to the troops the next time I come back in. Basically, I support the troops, but I ain’t buying a seven-dollar bag of coffee marked up to eighteen dollars n change to send to Iraq. I’m already out eight bucks for a cup of hot coco and a cookie, so me and the troops are pretty much square. You can donate the money I just gave you.

I use your questionnaire to further our flirtatious banter. It’s going over well. You are avoiding other customers to talk to me. I counter your smile and flip of the hair with a smile of my own, furrowed brow, and wall leaning pose reminiscent of James Dean.

Then you hand me my hot chocolate. You hand it to me with your left hand. My body posture morphs from being James Dean inspired to something resembling early Woody Allen as I see a diamond ring on your fourth finger.

Of course, you’re married. Why wouldn’t you be?

I can don nothing but smile. You hand me my cookie, and I turn and walk out. You look as if you’re about to say something, but I’m already to the door and you have a customer waiting for you. I keep smiling. I keep smiling because it’s funny to me. The eyes that initially put me out eight dollars, and a thousand plus calories, spot a pair of baby blue high tops in the magazine aisle.

I stand shoulder to balding head with the Asian man in the baby blues. I turn, smile, and say “Game. Set. Match.”

I walk away from Lil Asia, and out through the sliding doors. I drink my hot chocolate and eat my cookie. They are delicious. At this point, they have no other choice but to be.

Why the World Doesn't Need Facebook

The following is a piece by one Paul "Ajax" Brodie. Enjoy!

Have you seen the movie Superman Returns (Bryan Singer, 2006)? In this new sequel to the Superman saga we find the Man of Steel returning from a vacation, or something. While he was away, saving someone I suppose, Lois Lane (Kate Bosworth) turned against him and wrote a newspaper article entitled "Why the world doesn't need Superman (Brandon Routh)." Or something to that effect, I might not have it word for word. She won the Pulitzer for the article. I thought the Pulitzer was reserved for investigative journalism, not op eds, but what do I know, really? Nothing when it comes to journalism.
Lois wins the award for her therapeutic venting, perhaps scathing vengeance was a part of it as well, but she recants her opinion when Superman returns (hence the name of the movie, nice work keeping with the basic naming structure for Superman movies: Superman, Superman II, Superman III, etc) and saves her family fromannihilation. Oh yeah, and she finds out (or did she already know?) that her son is Superman's son too. You know what that means. It means that Cyclops (James Marsden) isn't the boy's father. Amorality has infiltrated the world, sadly. Where is Superman when you really need him? Setting a bad moral example for children everywhere. If that had been the crux of Lois' argument then I'd be on board. But now I'm just being judgmental over fictitious characters. I digress.
Having given you this background information, and before I write the article "Why the world doesn't need Facebook" I want to say one more thing. If Pulitzer prizes are given to writers of opinion pieces, and my anti-Facebook thesis warrants reception of one such prize, I will gladly receive it. I am not requesting, expecting, or banking on winning the prize, or even being considered, but I will accept if it is offered. If Lois Lane gets one for an opinion, which is so ridiculously one-sided, vengeful, and wrong, then why not give one to me for an opinion that is sound and beneficial?
As I was driving home from work today I saw a teenager walking down town. He was wearing skinny jeans, and wearing them low. I didn't think it was possible for the emo-band-style skinny jeans to sag. They look so dreadfully tight, hugging out every chance of air between fabric and skin, that I would never have imagined they could sag. But sag they did. Why would I relate such a story? Because it was different. It struck me as being out of place. It was new to me. I found it humorous. I wasn't laughing at the boy, just the trends and styles of his generation. Which perhaps is my generation, I don't know when a generation starts and stops in regards to trendy clothing. The kid is probably half my age, you make the generational call. Anyhow, I saw it and I wanted to share it.
I first thought about texting my friend Christal, because I thought she would get a similar sense of enjoyment out of it. Then I thought I could post it on her Facebook wall. This is when I realized that we don't need Facebook. The wall is just a text message for everyone to see. It was at this point that I asked myself why I needed everyone to see this text message. What was it about that message, and in turn, all messages, that I need to have become public knowledge? I could only come up with two reasons for making private messages public: childish revenge and selfish indulgence. And then I realized that that's what blogging is for! I don't need Facebook because I have a blog! And you could have a blog, too.Facebook is a public way to communicate with your friends, and their friends, and their friends and their friends and their friends. Eventually I guess it gets back to you and you are reading your own wall post and laughing at the poster's misfortune and then realizing it is actually your own. According to an episode of Law and Order that I watched yesterday, no e-mail message is safe and private, so maybe the privacy issue doesn't matter, but I still think an e-mail or text message or phone conversation is the best way to go for security and to avoid being a childish, selfish, attention-seeking wall-poster (one who posts on walls, not one who hangs on walls as a display item). But don't take me seriously, I'm just trying to make a joke and indulge in my attention seeking.Facebook, like Superman who leaves us high and dry, is obsolete. I will not retract my statement unless Facebook comes to my rescue when an super villain has sloppily left me to die in a slow and tedious process that nearly begs for my safe escape. I don't see that ever happening, however. No, I think I will always think of Facebook as obsolete. Whether or not it was ever of great use, I don't have an opinion. I know it has been influential in the world. I'm sure it has changed the lives of many people. Well, when you get right down to it it has changed the life of everyone who has ever heard of it in some way. Once you hear of it you are different from what you were before you heard of it, when you existed without knowledge ofFacebook. But that's a little more stupidly philosophical than I want to be right now. I say stupidly, but I mean uselessly. No, I don't hate on everything, although it seems to be a common occurrence with this blog lately. I guess I just have a lot of complaining to get out of my system. This is my psychotherapy.
I don't know that I have made any sound argument for why the world no longer needs Facebook, so I'll try to sum it up now. Everything that we can do with or through Facebook we can do without Facebook. If there is an alternate way to do it, then it isn't necessary. That is a rash generalization that probably doesn't hold water but I'm preventing myself from thinking about it so that I don't have to go on for another three paragraphs to explore it. I'll let you do that in the comment section below. As for me, I am finished with this post. I haven't accomplished anything with it as far as having a thesis and offering support of it. But I have typed many words, some of which might induce laughter when strung together as I have strung them together. Perhaps not. Regardless, Superman Returns was an okay movie. Iron Man (Jon Favreau, 2008) was better.

http://ajaxswhimsicalrevolution.blogspot.com/2011/01/why-world-doesnt-need-facebook.html

He's not human. He's like a piece of iron.

I am Jack's...

Live Forever

Pretty Green

Song of the Day: Vlad the Impaler

Good uses for this song:

Running

Weight Lifting

Fighting

Any place there is a strobe light going off

Combing your hair

Vampire hunting

Running from dogs

 Running from security guards

Watching an animal program where the lion, cheetah, etc. is chasing it's prey in slow motion (note: tv must be on mute, and volume on song turned up)

You wouldn't like me when I'm angry

Every man dies. Not every man really lives.

Spider-Man

Insomnia calls for many remedies depending on the night, the situation, and your mental state. Tonight the remedy was drawing. I saw this picture of the new Spider-Man and figured I'd do a quick drawing of him and throw on a little color.
I'm not a huge fan of the Spider-Man movies, but I like the kid the cast as the new Peter Parker/Spider-Man. He was in the Social Network, and was amazing in it. The kid has some chops. Hopefully he'll help make the movie worth watching. 
I honestly don't know why I just wrote all this down. It's just a quick little sketch that doesn't really need a introduction or prologue. So...yeah...

Song of the Day

Gray skys. A steady flow of rain. The rhythmic metronome of windshield wipers. Gray suit accompanied by your favorite, your only, slim black tie. Sunglasses (remember: It's never to dark to wear sunglasses, but it takes a certain type to pull off that look). All these elements come together to form a vibe. A feeling. 

The only thing missing? An accent of some kind? Some subtitles at the bottom of the movie screen that frames your life? And this song.....

                                                         SMOKE & MIRRORS by RJD2

From China, with Stealth

Say whaaaaat?! That seemed to be the general feeling of many of the political and governmental players across the globe as China beat the rest of the world in a friendly game of, Who got the coolest Christmas present? China put iPads and tow-socks to shame as photo sand videos emerged, and buzzed the Internet, of its new J-20 stealth fighter jet shortly after Christmas.

The tests coincided with a scheduled visit from United States defense secretary Robert Gates. Secretary Gates, who was in China for talks intended to improve military ties and relations between the U.S. and China, directly asked Chinese President Hu Jintao during one of their meetings if the test of the J-20 stealth fighter jet had anything to do with his visit.

When asked Gates told reporters "I asked President Hu about it directly, and he said that the test had absolutely nothing to do with my visit and had been a pre-planned test". Gates added when asked if he really believed that it was just a coincidence that the J-20 test flights just so happened to coincide with his visit to China, "I take President Hu at his word that the test had nothing to do with my visit."

Thus avoiding any public awkwardness, and any private slap fights, between Secretary Gates, President Hu Jintao, and their two respective nations.

The development and test flight of China’s J-20 stealth fighter jet came faster than many had expected, and took the folks at the Pentagon by surprise. The Pentagon had predicted that China wouldn’t have a stealth fighter for at least another decade. Oops.

But even with that said the plane is still years away from seeing full-time service.

Vice Adm. David J. "Jack" Dorsett, deputy chief of naval operations for information dominance, told reporters, “They enter operational capability quicker than we frequently project."

Dorsett acknowledged that the stealth fighter was real, but said it would be years before the jet could be deployed. "Developing a stealth capability with a prototype and then integrating that into a combat environment is going to take some time," he said.

So as of right now, with the J-20 being years away from actual operation, China has a really cool plane they take out for a spin occasionally for testing purposes, and also when the pilots or military big wigs want to impress a girl they fancy.

I think we can all admit that China gave themselves a pretty impressive “toy” for Christmas, and that only time will tell how this development will effect U.S. defense strategy and relations with China.

For now lets all forget about stealth fighter planes and U.S./ China relations, and appreciate the Chinese presidents name, Hu Jintao, and what a great substitute it is for swear words. The next time you stub your toe, get cut off in traffic, or find out that one girl/guy you’ve had your eye on has a boyfriend/girlfriend or a husband/wife, don’t pollute yourself with a curse word. Instead of swearing just exclaim, “HU JINTAO!”

Song of the Day

Not all music needs to have real deep meaning behind it, or cause you to look within to find a deeper meaning. Sometimes, a lot of the time, it's nice to have a song with a decent beat, passable guitar riff and hook, and lyrics that don't necessarily have any other meaning other than to have words and a voice to go along with the music in a somewhat complimentary way. 


A perfect example of this is the band...Beady Eye.
Beady Eye is basically Oasis without Noel Gallagher...since Oasis broke up last year. Oasis was the first band I really fell in love with. I'm still a loyal fan to this day. Oasis may not have the same musical powers they did at their zenith during the mid to late 90's, but they do know how to craft a good rock n roll song. Sometimes that's all I'm really looking for.


I judge them, and a lot of bands/musicians, by there replayability. There are some songs that you could listen to over and over again, and to me...Oasis has an entire catalog full of songs worthy of the repeat function on your iPod, iTunes, or whatever your music player of choice is.
Some of their songs have a deeper meaning or story behind them, which is always appreciated. Some of their songs are just good old fashioned straight forward rock n roll songs that you can get off on. God love em for it!


Because of my enduring love of Oasis, it was pretty certain that I'd like at least one song that Beady Eye would be offering out to the public at large, and Oasis fans like myself. And luckily for me...they did have at least one song, but more surprising...the had a couple. Beady Eye carries on the Oasis-ian tradition of straight forward get-off-on-it rock n roll songs to help implement a little swagger in your ordinary day.


If you're looking for deep meaning, feeling, and purpose in your music...go listen to Bob Dylan or The Boss. If you want just plain ol good rock n roll...then crank it up to 11 and let Oasis, and now Beady Eye, provide you with a sneer and some, lets face it, much needed swagger.

                                                           Sons of the Stage - Beady Eye

                                                             Bring the Light - Beady Eye

                                                           Four Letter Word - Beady Eye

Moustache Bob

Vicky O'Flannagan

Vicky O'Flannagan wears only 1940's era dresses.
She wears no kilts.
She's a classy dame. She would use one of those long cigarette handles if she smoked, which she doesn't, she is health conscious.
Except for her crippling addiction to Vicodin.
She picked up on it after the car accident, when she lost three toes on her right foot.
- Ajax

You see me here, you gods....

Three different performances of the 2nd Act of King Lear. Each one of them absolutely brilliant

Pete Postlethwaite

Ian McKellen

Paul Scofield

Skeleton Boy

I never get tired of listening to this song, and when nobody is around...I never get tired of wearing my speedo and cowboy boots whilst dancing to it

Here's to you, Ahab!

Mermaid

Season of mists and mellow fruitfulness

In no particular order: Favorite Songs of 2010

My favorite songs of 2010. They may not all be from 2010, but they are the ones I listened to the most, and the ones that accompanied me along my journey throughout the year.

Again, in no particular order...

Pyro by The Kings of Leon

Sweet Disposition by The Temper Trap

Fader by The Temper Trap

Barricade by Interpol

New Fang by Them Crooked Vultures

Intriguing Possibilities by Trent Reznor & Atticus Ross

Percussion Gun by White Rabbits

The Suburbs by Arcade Fire

Crying Lightning by Arctic Monkeys

I and Love and You by The Avett Brothers

Norway by Beach House

Mountains by Biffy Clyro

In A Big Country by Big Country

At My Window Sad and Lonely by Billy Bragg & Wilco

Jealous Again by The Black Crowes

Everlasting Light by The Black Keys

Bad Blood by B.R.M.C.

The Rent by The Bowery Riots

Fresh Air by Brother Ali

Bankrobber by The Clash

Blue Day by Darker My Love

Red Lights by Delphic 

Speaking in Tongues by Eagles of Death Metal

Rad Pitt by Egyptian Hip-Hop

Space Age Love Song by Flock of Seagulls

Skeleton Boy by Friendly Fires

When You Walk in The Room by Fyfe Dangerfield

American Slang by The Gaslight Anthem

On Melancholy Hill by Gorillaz

Sixteen by The Heavy

Take It In by Hot Chip

Clarity by Jimmy Eat World

Go Do by Jonsi

Monster by Kanye West, etc.

Angel Dance by Robert Plant

Bout to Get Ugly by Mark Ronson feat. Rhymefest

1901 by Phoenix

Auto Rock by Mogwai

Necro Hex Blues by Primal Scream

Man of Misery by Liam Gallagher

Bring the Light by Beady Eye

Mea Bloanasir by Sigur Ros

Got Nuffin by Spoon

Jazz

Thief

Faster than a Speeding Bullet